God, give me strength

I haven't been circumspect enough about disguising who I am and where I work, which means I can't rant about my colleagues, managers and ...sad to say..customers. Suffice to say it has not been the best of days. I think I need an alternative blog...

Then, to cap it all, I pick up my precious daughter from after-school club, and she is all red faced, and has been tearful all afternoon. She doesn't like club, you see, and wants to be at home with her mummy. And today I found it quite difficult to remember why it is I work f/t....

Ho hum

Red, red wine

or rather, white, white wine. I'm drunk. it's shameful.. I apologise. It has been a bit o' of shite week.

Sitting...the final night

Oh, blimey, how did we get here without mention my third all nighter ...Mel Brooks films...with Blazing Saddles being the favourite. "Is Bismark a Herring?"

And no mention of Monty Python? Brian for choice. Holy Grail in second place, and Meaning of Life third, despite Mr Croesote "Fuck off...I'm full"

And no room for Audrey Tautou and Amelie?

No - the final movie has to be "It's a wonderful life". Too many wonderful moments to mention....but isn't his wife a librarian? Or does she only become that in the sad, no George version of her life?

And look at the image I found...collect your own Bedford Falls! It really is a wonderful life!

Sitting...Parts 10 and 11

Nearly there. Pure slush and feelgood....My Big Fat Greek Wedding.



Then, well, as mum of a small, you have to get used to watching the same movies over and over, day after day. The pentultimate movie in the festival is one I don't mind seeing frequently - Night at the Museum. A Ben Stiller movie, but, if possible, he is almost overshadowed by a supporting cast of Robin Williams, Dick van Dyke, Micky Rooney, Steve Coogan and Rick Gervais, amongst others. Just watch out for the monkey!

Sitting....parts 8 and 9

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement,Kevin, but it's all down hill from here.

You were warned. Next film will have me sat at the front, drooling over the lovely Mr Dafoe - sweaty, grubby and in a uniform! Yep, it's Platoon. Academy award winner, and the lovely Willem was a nominee. And to continue a bit of a theme, it was the first in Oliver Stone's Vietnam trilogy. More trivia - I've just discovered Johnny Depp was in it. Can't say he made much of an impression on me during the numerous viewings! Oh, and I had the poster on my wall all three years I was a student. And, of course, the beautiful Barber's Adagio for Strings.

Ninth day, and I'm giving you an easier ride now. Let's hear it for Pretty in Pink. Classic (or is that cliched) tale of girl from wrong side of the tracks meets boy from 'right' side. He dumps her through peer pressure, then finally finds the courage to get back with her. All this, an amazing 80's New Wave soundtrack and Harry Dean Stanton. Oh, it is a total nostalgia trip.

Sitting in the back row...part 6 & 7

Now, what film festival would be complete without a foreign movie or two? We're going for an allnighter with Krzysztof Kieslowski's Three Colours Trilogy. I treat this as one choice, but if pushed, I offere Blue as my favourite, and the first one I ever saw.



After that burst of colour, my next offering is decidedly not foreign. Back to England, and opp north, where, as we all know, it is grim. How about Saturday Night and Sunday Morning. And if any fancies another all night session, I'd press on with more gritty (ish) 60's stuff...A Taste of Honey, anyone? Alfie? Georgy Girl?

Whistle while you work

Or in my case, shove on the headphones and play 80's music at top volume. Bit of preparation required - all my phones (all?? Yes - homeworker has three - home phone, work mobile and personal mobile) have to be in my line of sight so I can "see" them ringing. Actually, it gets very complicated if one does ring, as I use headphones for two of the three phones, so I have to remove one set, and replace with another...which are invariably all tangled up with each other, so I end up struggling to stop something falling off the desk, while trying to answer the phone promptly and in a professional manner(!)

Anyone, the point of the post was to share with you the music I am currently listening to, on a daily basis. This will give Vronni a laugh......click here or here.

And the first person to mention Tranvision Vamp's version of "Tell that girl to shut up" gets a slap.

Sitting in the back row...parts 4 & 5

Every OK for popcorn and slush-puppies? Then I'll continue. We stay in black and white for a little while longer, and more husbandly influences. Hitchcock. Well, what can I say that hasn't already been said...how about, he went to the same school as my dad, but not at the same time. Our first Hitchcock movie of the festival is The Lodger - and it's the one with the Joby Talbot soundtrack. We were lucky enough to go to the premier at The South Bank several moons ago, alongside Terry Gilliam and Neil Hannon (not literally, but they were there as well). Anyway, extremely atmospheric and nothing like Psycho!


Then, onto another early Hitchcock, but a talky this time: Sabotage. Made in 1936, and based on Joseph Conrad's The Secret Agent, I've just discovered (thank you Wikipedia). Gripping tale, gorgeous shots of 30's london, and an absolutely extraordinary, suspenseful bus trip....

Sitting in the back row...part 2 & 3

Now that we've softened you up, let's continue the horror theme with Nosferatu, directed by Murnau in 1922. Essentially it is Bram Stoker's Dracula with the names changed. As many of you know, I do moan (incessently some might say) about my husband's hobbies and interests. But, sometimes, when I get off my high horse for long enough, he does come up with some corking movies, and this is most certainly one of them. Normally, mention of a 1920's silent movie sends me running for the Carry On box set, but Max Shreck's Count Orlock (Dracula) is just so scary looking!

Part 3....Shadow of the Vampire...and the audience is looking at me in a puzzled manner..."Haven't we just seen this?" Well, sort of...Shadow of the Vampire is a movie about the making of Nosferatu, with the intriguing story that Max Shreck actually is a vampire. Also stars one of my all time favourite actors/idols/object of lust..Wilem Dafoe. We'll see more of him later in the festival (o, if only!)

Sitting in the back row of the movies...part 1

[very overdue with this....I was so intimidated...]

Oh horror. I have been invited by Uncle Kevin to select my 12 must see movies. Now the pressure is on to appear like an intellectual with an enormous knowledge and appreciation of obscure cinema. Bugger...and I was going to start with "Carry on up the Khyber".

Therefore, welcome to Librarylizzie's Film Festival: for those cinema viewers who want a bit of a laugh, a warm'n'fuzzy moment or two, and certainly don't want to have to concentrate when they are stuffing their faces with malteasers.

Day 1: let's start as we mean to go on, by lowering the tone immediately, and having a Carry On movie...Carry on Screaming I think.. A spoof of the Hammer Horror movies, and unique, I think, for featuring Harry H Corbet and Fenella Fielding, neither of whom appeared in any subsequent of the carry on series. I love these movies. Low-brow, vulgar, and harking bark to an era I'm frankly glad I didn't experience, where it is acceptable for old men to lech over young school girls, and were a fat woman is considered hilariously funny just for being fat...especially if she is attracted to a slim man, because, of course, who could possibly find a larger woman attractive! But off my soap box...I still enjoy the movies, and the typically british, seaside postcard humour, and of course, the word play and double entrendres. My favourite isn't actually in this movie. It is in Carry on Abroad, with Peter Butterworth as a Spanish hotel owner, and Kenneth Williams as the tour group leader. Kenneth is introducing himself to the owner: "Stuart Farquar"...."Stupid what?".....ha ha ha ...gets me everytime!

No doubt about it

And also in dire need of FOCUSING on my WORK. This is the downside of homeworking...way too easily distracted!

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

When irish eyes...

For something as beautiful as this I can even forgive "I'm a celebrity..."

I'm every woman

Thank christ for that...

You Would Make a Horrible 1930's Wife

You are way too non conformist, independent, and sassy to be an ideal retro wife. You may be so wild that you aren't even considering marriage! Good thing we don't live in the 1930s anymore!

Would You Have Been a Good Wife in the 1930s?

OK Computer

[I have a feeling that is an album title, rather than a song title, but ho hum]

So, Laura is quite clingy at the moment...has been for the last couple of months and it's driving me mad, but that is a story for another blog. Anyway, it means we have this ritual everynight where, when I'm kissing her goodnight in bed, she asks me where I'm going to be. Usually my answer is a sanitised version of "downstairs, slumped in front of the telly, with a large drink in my hand, arguing with yer dad". Tonight I told her I was going to be in my study, playing on my computer. She said "are you going into the internet?".....guess who started computer lessons last week? But she did make it sound much more interesting than just surfing other people's blogs, being jealous of their interesting lives...

The story of my life

Apparently this is the type of blogger I am....sadly, it would only be true if I actually blogged all the interesting and funny entries I write in my head when I can't sleep!

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And you make it as entertaining as possible. You may be guilty of over-sharing a bit on your blog, but you can't help it. Your life is truly an open book. Or in this case, an open blog!

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

We're going to hang out the washing on the Siegfried line

As I put some washing in the machine yesterday morning (one of the many advantages of working from home!)I realised...too late..that I should have taken a photo of the clothes Laura wore over the weekend, as they were a perfect summary of what we did...let me explain:

Splodges of green paint down the side of her top = we went pottery painting again. She painted a flower, I did a rainbow.

Brown marks on the collar and sleeves = we popped into Farrah's afterwards for a chocolate ice cream.

Large brown stains all down the front of the "Dorothy" dress = we made chocolate buns on Sunday.

I read the news today, oh boy

I'm not really sure this is news, is it?

Royal mix up over lager delivery

Old friends

or maybe some new friends, just waiting to be found. Have a go on this - it is marvelous...

London Pride has been handed down to us...

I come from Hounslow. Well, actually..do I? I was born in Queen Charlotte's Maternity Hospital, which is sort of Hammersmith/Shepherd's Bush. I was taken home to my parent's flat in Chiswick, and we moved to Heston in about 1970/71. Chiswick & Heston are both in the London Borough of Hounslow, so that will do for the purposes of this blog.

So, I've just finished one of my birthday books: Charles Hawtrey: the man who was Private Widdle, and, to my utter delight, I discovered that he came from Hounslow, and indeed, lived there for much of his Carry On career.

Mind you, we're not slackers when it comes to other famous folk you know: Jimmy Page (Heston), a page 3 girl who've name I've totally forgotten, Patsy Kensit, Phil Collins (I think..or was that Ealing), Elvis Costello, and Sanjeev Bhaskar.

Hounslow was the location for Bend it like Beckham. Heston Aerodrome was where Chamberlain waved his bit of paper. When I lived in Heston Johnny Ball and Hannah Gordon lived there....not together, I hasten to add. Finally, slightly more bizarrely, Hounslow is where Rene from Allo Allo (actor Gordon Kaye) was whacked in the head by a bit of masonery during the storms of '87, and chef Heston Blumenthal is named after the 'famous' services on the M4.

Row, row, row your boat...

We had an extra treat of a holiday given to us. Rob invited us to spend the Bank Holiday weekend on his boat. Doesn't that sound far more glam than "he invited us to stoke-on-trent".

So, we boated up and down this beautiful bit of english waterway.

All the photos are
here. Sorry about the 8 million pictures of Laura. I was trying to get a nice, atmospheric shot of her. The rather pained expression on her face is because she was singing!

And, an extra cheap laugh for Kate & Chris - the type of boat is a Wilderness Beaver...honest. Look...

He's on the beach

I've been reprimanded by Veronica for not mentioning the highlight of the holiday - the annual sunday trip to the beach, with chips from the chip man. I think this is because I had tried to erase the memory of being FORCED to stay on the beach, under the beach umbrella (kindly lent by the chip man) in the RAIN. I was wearing sweatshirt AND waterproof. Veronica "hitler" Woodward wouldn't let any of us off the beach. Finally, her family were brave enough to defy her, and went and skulked in the car. We stayed.....Still it rained. Her family drove off to look at trains (!). We stayed.....and....it stopped raining....and it actually got quite pleasant. All the beach photos in the previous Penderff blog are taken that very afternoon, after it stopped raining. You were right, V, and the others missed out!

We're off to see the wizard....

And we did see him twice...once on stage, and once at the stage door...what a sad pair of groupies we are! Peter actually wrote a note to Roy Hudd, saying how we'd love to meet him, and how he (Peter, not Roy) had seen him in a show on Clacton Pier in about 1847 or something.

Well, like the true professional he is (Roy, not Peter) he came down, signed our programme, and posed for photos. Laura got stagefright, as you can see. Me, I'm grinning like a grinning thing!

Kudos too, to Gary Wilmot (Lion), Hilton Mcrae (Tin Man) and Susannah Fellowes (Glinda & Auntie Em) for being so friendly, signing programmes, etc...

A fantastic afternoon. Wish I could recommend you all rush off to see it, but it finished its run at the weekend.